If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
~ Andrew A. Rooney

As most of you know, I have a husband and a dog. I really do love both of them very much and I would highly recommend to anybody considering dogs or husbands to really give it serious thought because both are great to have around the house. And really, owning a dog and having a husband really have some shocking similarities. Both enjoy cuddling, most conflicts can be resolved with food, when you lock them in the house all day alone they’re overjoyed when you come back, they are (when left to their own devices) more than happy to crowd you in the bed, and both create unique little messes simply by existing in the house for hours a day. While most of the listed qualities make husbands and dogs more enduring in our hearts, the last example does create a headache or two. Though I will say quite thankfully, the messes that each leave are vastly different. I highly doubt the dog will have much occasion to leave his socks in little balls at the foot of the bed, and I would be truly shocked and horrified if I came home to a mess on the carpet left by my husband not quite being able to make it outside to relieve himself.

Every day, my dog leaves so much hair around the house, I have a hard time figuring out just how he’s not totally naked.  And I vacuum several times a week, and I think with the amount of dog hair I dust off of every flat surface of our house, pick out of the couch, and scrape off the carpet, I could probably knit a whole new dog.  When I was sick with the flu and didn’t vacuume for a week, we quite literally had doghair tumbleweeds rolling through our kitchen.  I love my dog, but sometimes I wonder if he intentionally goes about sprinkling hair that he collects from other dogs while out at the dog park around the house while I’m out grocery shopping or while I’m at the gym.  It’s amazing, especially since 20 hours a day he’s fast asleep on the floor, which common sense would dictate would mean he’s not finding time to explode hair all over the living room.

Thankfully, I’ve come up with some ways to make the house that’s mostly wall-to-wall dark blue carpet not look like the bottom of a kennel, and it doesn’t involve shaving the dog:

**  Regular vaccuming is a must.  Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I do a vacuum of the high traffic areas of our house.  Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday I use a Carpet Flick or Carpet Sweeper in the main part of the house, hitting only his favorite sleeping spots (under the Dining Room table, for example).  A Dust Buster works miracles on the tumbleweeds of fir that seem to migrate to the non-carpeted rooms of the house (like the Kitchen and Bathroom).

**  If you have a vaccum like mine, it doesn’t quite get all the way to the wall.  Incidentally, this is the spot that seems to collect the most dog hair.  Using a hand broom and dustpan (whisk broom, whatever you want to call it) to kind of comb up the carpet along the edges of the room and in corners works miracles.  I personally prefer the plastic hand brooms over the straw ones because that little bit of static it generates grabs up some of the smaller, finer hairs.

**  My dog isn’t allowed on the couch, which means he’s only on it when we’re not looking…  Pretty much anytime we leave the house.  The dog hair just sticks to couches and chairs.  Put on a set of rubber gloves (like the kind you use when you’re washing dishes…  The ones with textured fingers and palms are the best), and run your hands over the couch.  You’ll literally peel the dog hair off the couch.  Even those hairs that get embedded in the cloth.

**  I use my homemade Frebreeze mixture and spray it on the couch, bed, and high traffic areas of the rug.  It reduces the static that makes cleaning dog hair that much harder.  I also rub down the dog with used dryer sheets to collect some of his hair, and to help de-static the dog.  In winter, he gets zapped more than a kid wearing slipper pjs.

**  When it comes down to it, taking the dog out and brushing him or her down regularly makes a big difference.  Just spend 3 minutes a day giving the dog a good brush down, and leave the hair outside for the birds.  Around here, the birds will take the dog hair to line their nests, so I chuck all the dog hair I can out there.  Maybe that’s why our property is home to so many nesting robins, chickadees, swallows, sparrows, and wrens… 

 To those of you looking for tips on how to share a bed with both a husband and a dog… I can’t help you there. Every night, I sleep in the fetal position in my 2 square feet of bed, flanked by snoring husband and twitching dog. I’m obviously no authority in that department.